What do you do when the bill comes?
First dates can be more stressful than enjoyable, with tons of little questions going through your brain, and answers that don’t come very easily. Plus, it seems like any awkward moment or faux pas could ruin all the good time you had up to that point – and kill all chances of a second date.
Perhaps the biggest, trickiest and most delicate first-date question is this one: who pays for dinner? Let’s try to settle this once and for all…
It used to be that men were expected to take the check at a restaurant – like, always. However, women have become more and more empowered and financially independent in recent years (with an average income now representing 88.6% of their male counterparts according to l'Institut de la statistique du Québec; it’s not like women can’t afford to pay for dinner), so that traditional “rule” may be obsolete. It also does nothing to solve the increasing number of first dates involving same-sex or transgender people.
Of course, in the dating game, there’s a case to be made that the person who’s responsible for the invitation must pay for dinner, but first dates typically occur at a neutral site, where each partner decides whatever they want to eat and drink, sometimes in a not-so-formal setting.
Here’s the deal: If you’re the type who insists on splitting the bill or if you want a first date with zero obligations or pressure on either part, it’s best to (politely) let the other person know right away. In the event that a second date appears unlikely, you’ll be glad you did.
On the flip side, if you like that chivalrous concept of having someone pay for your dinner and if the date goes well, let them take the check while kindly offering to return the favour the very next time you go out (or maybe later that night after dessert or drinks at another place). This way, relationship experts say, you both get to practice your generosity and develop further chemistry.
In the end, remember that you are just two people hanging out and wanting to have a good time. It’s one date, and in the long run you’ll even forget who paid the bill that night.