Social interactions are critical in a person’s life.
Developing interpersonal abilities allows us to make friends, get along with others, and sometimes even helps us get out of sticky situations.
Children learn these skills by trial and error through their everyday interactions with others. However, as a parent, it can feel terrible not to know how to contribute to this process. Social situations are everywhere; equipping our children with the skills to communicate will affect their experience in day care, at the park, at day camp and at school. As parents, here are some ways we can intervene and push the little one in the right direction.
Non-Verbal Communication
When children are shy or anxious, they have trouble focusing on others. They can become closed-in or defensive, which can be interpreted as lack of interest by others. Even if it’s actually not, this can harm social development. Others may think less of shy or anxious people, and they may even come to fear and avoid social contact.
One good thing you can teach is eye contact. Keeping eye contact is known to convey interest and confidence.
You can also do your utmost to provide your children a stress-free environment in order to minimize any anxiety at its source.
Teaching About Limits
Imagine how many arguments could be avoided if children knew how to respect each other’s limits!
For adults, it’s usually obvious what words like “stop” or “enough” mean. By the time we grow up, we are usually also good at interpreting tone of voice. The way things are said is just as important as the words themselves. However, for children, this isn’t always as clear.
Sometimes, kids keep doing things until long after the other person has made it clear they want to stop. It’s important to educate children on how to interpret warning signs from others.
Stepping Up
Our ability to communicate what displeases us to others respectfully is essential. This is how we defuse tensions and avoid fits of rage or violence. This is especially important when building friendships. A child has to be able to communicate that he or she is tired of a certain activity, or say “It’s my turn!” politely. Otherwise, silence may be interpreted as satisfaction and frustration will fester.
Teaching a child to deal with dissatisfaction and express it respectfully is an important lesson.
The Art of Forgiveness
Adults are expected to deal with conflict through calm discussion. Children simply aren’t there yet!
The first lesson is to apologize for wrongdoing, but how to forgive someone else can be trickier to comprehend. This is because in order to forgive, one must be able to put things into perspective, and imagine what the other person is thinking and feeling.
For instance, if the conflict happened weeks ago and hasn’t resurfaced, you can point that out and explain that there’s no need to hold a grudge. If there was some sort of accident, it’s important to explain that no one is perfect, and conversely, that no one can expect perfection from you, either.
You’ll be doing your child a great service by teaching that everyone is allowed to make mistakes, even him or her.