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Staying Friends with an EX?

Staying Friends with an EX?Oliver Rossi / Stone / Getty Images

It’s over; it just wasn’t working, and you and your partner have decided to end your romantic relationship. But does that mean you should part ways in other aspects of your life, too? Can we still be… Friends?

Well, it depends. Many relationships die out because there simply wasn’t much going on between the two in the first place. If your relationship was just about sex, and didn’t include much friendship, camaraderie or shared interests, what’s the point?

On the other hand, lovers can sometimes be the best of friends. Maybe the relationship ended because someone else came into the picture, or because one of you moved far away. There are SO many ways a relationship could end without damaging the underlying friendship.

Moving On

Perhaps the most important thing to consider if you want to remain friends with an ex is whether each person has moved on. There’s a reason why your relationship is over; it’s important for both of you to realize that there may still be a spark. It may even lead to a rekindling of your love. If someone decides that’s a bad thing, it may be better to cut ties.

Have you been seeing other people since breaking up or not? That’s a major factor in moving on. Past relationships seem much more distant when someone else steals your heart.

How would you react if you found out the other person was still into you? Will you be able to accept rejection if they’re not interested in having another go? These are important questions to think about before considering remaining close to an ex.


Have you and your ex spoken about why things didn’t work out? Breakups can be highly emotional, but it’s important to have that rational discussion if you’re going to remain friends. Proper closure can make the rejected party feel much more confident. If there’s still any doubt to clear up as to what’s going on between you, it needs to get cleared up before you can be friends.

Friends… But why?

This one should be obvious, but it’s a big one! What are your intentions here? Do you actually like the person and really just want to be friends? Okay. But if you have other intentions, it’s best to let your ex know. Sneaking around and trying to coerce them back into your life probably won’t work, and will likely worsen things even more.


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