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Is it OK to talk to your ex?

Is it OK to talk to your ex?
/ Kelly Mitchell / Mement / Getty Images

FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX

You ended your relationship, you are both trying to move on. Is it ever okay to be friends with your ex? It really depends, there were reasons why you ended it and maybe those reasons are better to not keep lingering in your life. Then there is also the side that maybe you just weren’t meant to be lovers but more to have each other as FRIENDS in the first place. You took that road and crossed that line and so the question remains…should you stay friends?

REASONS WHY IT CAN NOT WORK

  • No matter how much you say you are just friends history comes back to haunt you. This may stop you from moving on and truly being happy with someone else.

  • They might try to sabotage other relationships not knowing they are doing so.

  • There will always be sparks between you two, you were together for a reason and the misconception of those sparks may make you think that trying one more time is worth it.

  • In order to truly move on you need to put yourself out there and meet other people. Then you have to ask yourself will that other person be ok with you communicating with your ex?
  • If you are in a relationship and trying to move on, know that your ex knows and might be willing to confess his or her feelings that may have bad intentions just to ruin something good in your life.

  • Jealousy no matter what you say, seeing your ex with another man or woman sparks jealousy, and sometimes those feelings mix up your emotions. So knowing that they are with someone else and talking to them may be bad for you.

  • If you are going to remain friends be clear between “what is ok” and what “is not ok”. They cannot interfere with your happiness. If you are dating someone boundaries are a must. Such as calling all the time, asking about your new boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, asking to see you again. The list can go on and on.

Here is a great question, Why would want to remain friends with your ex? Whether the decision was yours or there’s, why would you want to keep someone that hurt you in many ways? There aren’t many reasons I can think of other than:

  • If you share custody of kids or an animal.
  • If you have no one in your life, and you are just being nice.
  • If you still have assets you need to split.
  • There are stories you hear of a lot of people having a great relationship with their exes and their new loves, but those are select cases. All to say they are exes for a reason.
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