Breakups are often brutal, and emotionally exhausting. And if you’re the one getting dumped, it can leave you feeling empty, lonely, broken, and confused. A breakup can call a lot into question including someone’s worth, attractiveness, and overall self-image. Because there are so many unanswered questions, we sometimes want to contact our ex not long after the split— but as many of us know, speaking to an ex immediately after a breakup isn’t a good idea.
That is why most relationship experts recommend the no ‘contact rule’.
For the unfamiliar, the no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup for a minimum of 60 days. That includes no texting, no calls, and no interacting on social media. It can feel like an extreme move when you're still working to get over a breakup but cutting off contact with an ex is the fastest, most effective way to move on.
Here’s a simple breakdown of how it works:
What does no contact mean?
No texts.
No calls.
No messages left on any social media accounts.
No emails.
No going out of your way to stage an “accidental” run-in.
Do not respond if they contact you.
No visiting places where you think you might run into one another.
No stalking their social accounts.
No asking about them.
Why it is recommended?
You will stop thinking about them regularly.
You will stop obsessing over them.
You will no longer be afraid to run into them at a social event.
You will rediscover forgotten sources of happiness.
It will give you perspective and clarity.
You will avoid the endless on/off relationship cycle.
It gives you time to figure out what you really want in life and in a relationship.
It gives you time to figure out what didn't work.
It gives you time to realize if you did something wrong to cause the breakup.
It allows you to remember you can live without them.
It prevents you from seeing what they are up to because sometimes you really don’t want to know.
It gives them the space to miss you.
No contact will make you stronger, faster.
You will learn to lean on other important people in your life for support.
You’ll realize the relationship wasn’t meant to be.
It forces you to find other ways to stay busy and happy, without relying on a relationship.
It prevents more unnecessary arguments.
